hey, so yeah. im backk. but anyways. if you dont like negativity and dont want to hav anything to do w it, pray close and ignore this post. (( tho ive felt btr jn, read last paragraph. positive too ))

really im warning you,

if you cant, do not force yourself.

so i shall begin…

okay so my mum said that i cld finally get a skateboard. and its smth i wanted since like, forever. but now.. idk why but i cant feel happy. and i might hav developed anxiety attacks… i feel like i might get a relapse soon. but i do not wish to harm my wrist.. it has been thru a lot.. plus.. im just really pissed and angry w myself.. like i dont even know how in the world am i feeling like this. i still remembered. i said that i was looking for a reason not to cut, but your reply was so cold.. i could feel my heart being stabbed…. you asked.. ‘ must there b a reason? ‘ like i was nth.
you wrote your name on my heart in permanent. but only let me write on yours in pencil.
i guess im that easy to forget thn. tho i do not blame you. im torn btwn two parts of me. one who wants to move on and everything. and another who wants to go back to the past. death seems like the only way out. i’s gorge my eyes out bcuz im sick and tired of crying. my heart feels too much. i care too much.. i get hurt too much…
im tired. tired of crying. tired of cutting. tired of living. tired of breathing. tired of sleeping. tired of not doing anything. tired of being tired.

okay well now.. actually just a while ago. ice cream talked to me. so i felt better.. im sorry if i hav affected anyone who read this post. if youre facing things like these, feel free to tell me. i can lend you a listening ear and its a no-judgment zone. stay strong, things wont get better unless you hav hope. hope is what makes you alive. hope for a better day. everyone deserve someone who will b there for them and remind them how much theyre worth. one day someone will hold you so tight , that all your broken pieces will stick back together. we all deserve to b happy and, remember that you look pretty much adorable when you hav that smile on your face.


fresh start

uhh. so yea its gonna b my first entry(?) if youd call it that or just a post. never exactly made a blog before but i decided to try so.. its a fresh start i guess haha. so an intro first?
・female student
・love to draw
・ice cream
uhh thats it i guess haha. anyways, more abt me:
> female student from BDS
> well you could say drawing is my forte
> i watch anime and draw manga character too
> i hope to hav a wolf as a pet but that isnt possible tho, unless i get a husky, which is pretty much similar to a wolf.
> currently trying to stay fit
> ^ but ice cream is life
> i live in singapore
> i hav an elder sister
> currently recovering from emotional stuff haha
> books like Game of Thrones, where they hav direwolves (( which are kawaii af ))

i guess i’ll start w/ what happened yesterday then🙂
i went back to school to meet two of my schoolmates who are actuallypretty close to me right now, so let’s name them Pizza and Ice cream. so previously, Pizza told me that Ice cream might like me. and a while later Pizza confirmed w me that Ice cream had feelings for me. Ice cream is a nice person, with a good character and all. plus, that was around a week or so ago. so back to yesterday, we were going to Ice cream’s house. we planned on doing our english homework then going to the gym and mayb play DOTA 2 or LoL (( i watched them play, tho i would but i cant haha )). things weren’t as awkward as i had thought it would b so i was pretty glad. we started to do some english, then Pizza decided to play DOTA 2, so we did our work w/o him. i got a bit cold so Ice Cream decided to wrap me with his blanket, it felt warm. we paused for a while to hav lunch thn went back to his room to finish up the english homework we had. after a while we went to the gym and decided to workout a little, carrying weights and all. Ice cream and i had an arm-wrestling competition bcuz he lost previously, but this time i lost (( zzzzz )) . Pizza wanted to do some pull-ups, so we headed to the fitness corner, while Ice cream went to get his basket ball. so they played for an hour or so thn we decided to go back up and play some computer games. Pizza went ti play DOTA 2 while Ice cream and i decided to watch some anime and draw, his drawings were really gooddddd.* thn Pizza was playing Outlast (( i think it Was known as the scariest game this year )) and Ice cream was getting scared but i think he was trying to b brave infront of me haha. we would hav stayed for dinner but my mum didnt allow that,plus she doesnt exactly know. Pizza lives near me so we took a train home together after Ice cream walked us to the train station near his house. the sky was pretty gloomy and it was going to rain, i Was pretty worried bcuz Ice cream didnt bring an umbrella out so i wanted to pass him my umbrella but he sorta dashed off when me and Pizza were crossing the traffic light. and guess what, it rained pretty heavily. Ice cream texted Pizza saying that he was stuck somewhere and drenched too. i felt pretty bad tho :\\ thn just last night i couldnt sleep and i wanted to talk to someone but i didnt wanna disturb anyone, thni remembered that i had to thank Ice cream for that day, so i did. and whn he replied, we started talking i guess (?) thn i told him how i used to self-harm and everything, but Pizza told me a little about Ice cream too. he said that Ice cream was mostly being isolated and had a rough experience and all bcuz he was a ‘ noob ( computer ) player ‘ .

so i guess thats enough of this entry for today haha. hav a nice day! (=^・・^=)

*anyw, here’s the pics of Ice cream’s drawings (( i helped a lil  okayyyy ))