hey, so yeah. im backk. but anyways. if you dont like negativity and dont want to hav anything to do w it, pray close and ignore this post. (( tho ive felt btr jn, read last paragraph. positive too ))
really im warning you,
if you cant, do not force yourself.
so i shall begin…
okay so my mum said that i cld finally get a skateboard. and its smth i wanted since like, forever. but now.. idk why but i cant feel happy. and i might hav developed anxiety attacks… i feel like i might get a relapse soon. but i do not wish to harm my wrist.. it has been thru a lot.. plus.. im just really pissed and angry w myself.. like i dont even know how in the world am i feeling like this. i still remembered. i said that i was looking for a reason not to cut, but your reply was so cold.. i could feel my heart being stabbed…. you asked.. ‘ must there b a reason? ‘ like i was nth.
you wrote your name on my heart in permanent. but only let me write on yours in pencil.
i guess im that easy to forget thn. tho i do not blame you. im torn btwn two parts of me. one who wants to move on and everything. and another who wants to go back to the past. death seems like the only way out. i’s gorge my eyes out bcuz im sick and tired of crying. my heart feels too much. i care too much.. i get hurt too much…
im tired. tired of crying. tired of cutting. tired of living. tired of breathing. tired of sleeping. tired of not doing anything. tired of being tired.
okay well now.. actually just a while ago. ice cream talked to me. so i felt better.. im sorry if i hav affected anyone who read this post. if youre facing things like these, feel free to tell me. i can lend you a listening ear and its a no-judgment zone. stay strong, things wont get better unless you hav hope. hope is what makes you alive. hope for a better day. everyone deserve someone who will b there for them and remind them how much theyre worth. one day someone will hold you so tight , that all your broken pieces will stick back together. we all deserve to b happy and, remember that you look pretty much adorable when you hav that smile on your face.